Dear friend,

I am tired. My eyes are half closed yet, I still can’t fall asleep. And I miss you, I want you to understand that. But I know this will never reach you or you will ever respond. There’s a reason Harry Styles sang ‘As it was’. Yes, I know; it’s not the same as it was. Our laughs and memories have become like an oxygen cylinder that I would carry climbing up a hill. It is important but it’s really heavy. And people have climbed without oxygen too you know. I want to say a lot of things to you. I want you to stay with me. Will you not cheer up your depressed friend with a hug? I am tired to smile and be behind a mask. If you were here and for you, only for you, I would take that off.

It is strange how time and circumstance create situations for us. Sometimes it is fun and well, sometimes it makes us just part our ways. It is very painful, to slowly and very consciously, knowingly lose you. There was so much between us, those chuckles and even your tempers. We live in a weird world. I can always say that I am just one dm away, but we are stuck looking at each other’s stories on social media instead. Maybe just a story reply por favor? No? OK fine.

I want to say I am happy to see what you have become. I have seen you grow, how you used to be. You may not realize it, but you have become the great person that you are — I’m not even bluffing. I just wish friendships were meant to last forever or maybe I was stuck in a time loop instead. But don’t we all feel like that anyway? Haha! Another thing that often comes to my mind is that we never said goodbye. It was just so subtle. But perhaps I still can’t say goodbye to you. Or why else I would be writing this.

Suthaa